Completely Important Unrelated Topic...

...that I'd like to get out there. In a sense, it IS related in the most indirect, yet direct way possible to collaborative arts. I guess it depends on how you view it. Some view blogging as a socio-political based blathering. On the other end of the spectrum - way off the chart - it is a communicative experience in which you collaborate in an entire network of participants. It is art to me, because as one has said before,

"Art is an interpretation.
If one notices it [such as a blog post],
interprets, and creates a mental decision of it,
then it is art."

Okay, perhaps I did not completely explain it with all the words. And perhaps it wasn't even a quote. But the idea was there. I just like making it look fancy and presenting it in a template that makes it seem other-worldly.

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But now to the real-completely-unrelated topic. I just wanted to offer a perspective, which I most certainly would be ridiculed for. But read because I feel its important, if you are remotely interested in my musings.

So for about a few months now, I felt a figurative ache, one that resided in my subconsiousness. I felt like it was an internal struggle to focus and get to class. It probably is this way for many people. However, I know that I'm intelligent, I know that I'm not lazy, and I know that contrary to the popular belief, I'm not a WoW addict (<- leading cause of college dropouts). The real problem lies within my satisfaction and expectations. For most of my life, I've been taught the hardships and struggle of living. My parents and family would always verbally regurgitate the ideals of School and hardwork! Time and time again I would agree because I believed elders are always right.

Come senior year of high school, I remember when I started thinking about colleges. Of course, everyone else was doing it too at the time. And when I saw UC Irvine I thought, "Oh, all these majors, what do I want to do?" Of course, I naturally gravitate toward studio art because I feel I'm good at it (said in the most humble way possible).

And come third year, I start to think what was the cause of my inability to focus on class. Work that would normally take 10 minutes would take a lifetime...of a mayfly lifespan (because they are only considered an "adult" for one day and... that was a bad joke). To put it into perspective, I currently am taking a digital art class. And if you've read my autobiography page, you would have seen that I wanted to be a web designer, illustrator, blah blah. The problem is that I kept struggling and not understanding why I hated working on the class projects so much, even though I said that is what I wanted to do.

But anyways, through a long mystical journey into my subconcious (without the use of psychedelic drugs mind you), I realized that going to an elite social institution wasn't what I wanted. Web designing and illustration were the job ideas that I considered because I was just "settling" on job satisfaction. I decided on those because I felt I was decent in art and that I kept thinking in terms of college, not my satisfaction. It was just twenty years of my parents and family molding me to believe that I wanted a degree, a high paying job, a family, a white-picket fence. And here I was, going to class every single day, living to these expectations set out for me since day one, when I took a breath of smoggy L.A. air in some non-distinct hospital.

These social expectations to have the American Dream are everywhere around you. We grow up learning it. And then we grow trying to achieve it. And often times, we are too busy to realize if that is what we really want.

Now, I'm not saying we should all just dropout of college and be stupid. I for one am just going to graduate with a degree because I feel a deep obligation to my parents to make them proud of me. I am so totally going to attend a CSU and get a degree in park management to be a Park Ranger! Completely unrelated again. But really, if i land a desk job in a 4X4 cubicle, I will seriously consider stabbing myself in the leg with pen. Seriously.

Anyway, this post is just meant to incite a time to think for yourself if what you are doing in college and in life is for you. Don't do what everyone else is doing. Find out what your expectations are - unless you truly want the whole job, money, and family, then go for it by all means.

I'm sorry my writing is so terrible and it's confusing to understand.

..and here is the REAL quote of the day:

"Dream as if you'll live forever,
Live as if you'll die today"
- James Dean